I wish i didn't have to pretend to smile

My grin is broad
And handshake firm
Just the way it ought to be
these days my jaw aches
and head burns
because i pretend to smile at
the random people i meet
through the day

All those random meetings
with unknown strangers
and with known strangers
day in and day out
when i'm tired at night
i remember none
not a single face
or beautiful words spoken.
just smudged blankness
i wish i didn't have to pretend to like

Sometimes i remember few meetings
only because i had wished
for being more ruder
and scared them away
i like it when the people i don't like
Don't pretend to smile
and see through me
As if i was fog personified

I wish these days
for only one friend
to go see a movie with
or share lunch and dinner
i want only one friend
who loves me
and who doesn't pretend to smile
Only one friend who will tease me
and worry for me
who'll not talk when i'm silent
nor probe me to find
my personality flaws
who'll eat with my spoon
when i have flu
only one voice in my head
besides mine.